A Letter From Boner

The bold, unapologetic story behind BonerHead Krispy Treats.

My Story

Hello everyone,

My name is Boner Aka Stephanie, I prefer to be called Boner.

Sally aka BonerHead, preferred to be called BonerHead.

She was the best and only ONE true Girlfriend I ever had.

She was my sister from another Mother.

We were blessed to have had 40 wonderful years in this crazy world and we shared so many memorable times, AND we did LOTS of crazy Shit when we were young. Oh Youth! This IS why I’m a Boner. The stories about me are all true. Maybe I will share some stories with you sometime.

OK the Definition of Bone Head: it’s an adjective and means dumbass.

This is what it meant to me and my BonerHead and the reason is obvious it was because we did some of the DUMBIST SHIT and we lived to tell the tale.

I was 15 when I met Sally. Sally was tall, blonde, skinny, with a beautiful soul. When we met, I knew I made a friend for life.

Now you’re asking yourself, OK, OK, OK, WTF is BONERHEAD KRISPY TREATS????

Well the answer is…

YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE TO EAT MY BALLS!!!

This was my BonerHeads favorite treat.

Everyone that has ever eaten my balls really loves them so much that they keep coming back for more.

Clue 1. Peanut Butter
Clue 2. Chocolate
Clue 3. Rice Krispy Cereal
Clue 4. NUTS!!!!
Clue 5. Marshmallows

Side note: I’m sorry if you can’t eat nuts.

The most important clue is one I will never share. Sorry!

So now you’re saying to yourself, ok I can make that. And I say, Sure you can, but why? I did all of the work for YOU.

All you must do is open your mouth and say YUM!!!!

The simple fact is the secret is in my sauce. LMAO!

Fact we can agree on: Everyone can bake a cake and they can eat it too. Right!

But I would truly prefer you to eat my balls and I want to put a SMILE on your face and my balls in your mouth.

The BEST part of all is “You can swallow. No Hocktwoee here!”

Now if you love PeanutButter and Chocolate, and Nuts, then you’re in the right place.

I love nuts and you know it’s always great with a little Tongue and Cheek!!!

Ask me the question what else you got? My response is I just have my balls… AND I know for a FACT you’re going to want to eat my balls too.

KISS rule, Keep it simple stupid! Variety is nice but sometimes the only thing you need in your life is the ONE TRUE ONE!

Now if you want to eat your balls by yourself, especially if you don’t want to share, I suggest you get my Lip Box that comes with 13 Bite Size Balls. Perfect for one person.

Ladies, you can repurpose my lip box and fill up on my balls anytime you want. No judgment at all!

Now if you like to share, then you must order my Bag of Balls. This contains 26 medium size balls and they’re in a BAG.

You know the saying the more the merrier. This is so true but be careful. You really can’t just eat one of my balls. You’re going to want to eat at least two.

And please, you do not have to be ashamed of having people watch you while you eat my balls. It’s really loads of fun and freaking nuts!

So if you don’t want your friends to eat all of your balls, make them buy and eat their own balls. Tell them Boner says so.

WE ALL HAVE A BONER

Here is a true fact in life — we all have our own Boner. Do you realize that? Everyone has a BONER.

You know the ONE friend that lives life to the fullest, isn’t scared of nothing and won’t take NO for an answer. If you dare them, they will do every stupid stunt you dare them to do.

Guess what this means? It means you have a BonerHead too.

Don’t take your Boners for granted. Give them attention. Call your BonerHead and enjoy my balls together. What a memory!

HAHA, I got you. I bet you thought that I was going to talk about my boner again. Wrong!

I’m now talking about MY Member.

I don’t know if anyone can remember every Boner that has come and gone in their life. That sucks, right? I wish I could remember…

Well don’t worry because Boner has got you covered.

You will remember mine.

It’s the right size for most people. You may want to eat it without the wrapper. It’s much better that way. No protection to keep you from enjoying every lick-lipping moment.

Just call Boner for more, more, more.

Now for those of you with an insatiable appetite, you’ll need Boner’s T Bag.

This is serious business because the size of these balls will make you shiver with excitement.

You get 2 baseball size balls. Yes, 2 BASEBALL SIZE balls. Because balls come in twos — ergo T BAG.

Don’t rush this moment. Have one now and save one for later.

And don’t worry — my balls will come whenever you want them the most. All you have to do is call Boner.

So if you think you can handle it…

Please, please, please…

EAT MY BALLS AND ENJOY.

PS: I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU WITH MY BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH.

Love ya,

Boner

Contact & Links

BonerHead Krispy Treats — Phoenix, AZ. Email: [email protected] • Phone: (623) 462-4055. Follow our updates on social channels.

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